Myspace launched TWENTY YEARS AGO. You kids won’t remember this, but it was huge. And yet its existence is almost entirely anecdotal. All we have are mentions in old blog posts, articles, jokes, a weirdly dated mention in the first Iron Man. An entire social network – at the time, the social network – can now only be inferred from the impression left by its impact. Actually, there is a way to peer back into the really-not-that-distant past: if you can remember your old username, visit Internet Archive and try myspace dot com / username – chances are, your younger self will still be on there, frozen in a CSS hellscape of your own coding.

Slight immediate correction: the website myspace.com is still a thing, but it’s now a broken down entertainment news aggregator in a state of undeath. Why has nobody bought it for pennies and turned it into something? Anything?